I think this person had a point. I think to often we don't talk about the hard stuff. We can easily see all the good stuff in people's lives, and feel like things come easy or are given to people. We don't know the challenges behind getting to the good stuff we post on Instagram. I'm a big believer in reality. I've considered myself a realist for several years, but in the past year especially-- I've decided it's important for me to be a positive realist. So that's how I'm going to write today when I document my experience as a student wife- with a positive reality.
Dan's graduation was easily one of the best days of my married life. I can't tell you how long I've waited for this day! For a day when I didn't feel like every night of my married life was determined by the amount of homework Dan had. For a day when I knew our savings account wouldn't be siphoned by a ghastly tuition payment every 4 months. For a day when we could move on from living like students.
I'm not going to lie, being a student wife has been hard. I remember about 2 months after we were married, Dan came home and told me that instead of Spring 2014 being his graduation date, it was now Spring 2016. I remember being completely devastated. I remember thinking my life was over. I remember being so bitter and so angry about the situation. I remember thinking I would be almost 30 before Dan graduated (talk about dramatic!)
Even though the last 3.5 years are not how I planned them to be, I can see I was learning lessons that only a life experience such as this would teach me. And boy did I need to learn them.
#LESSON1: ATTITUDE
I decided to be kind of miserable and cranky about living in Logan and Dan being in school for the first half of our time here. I was mad. I wanted to be mad. I hated people talking about how you can choose to be happy no matter what situation you were in. Because I was choosing to be mad.
I'm trying to pin down the turning point for me in my attitude adjustment. It was a slow, painful process for me. As with every phase of my life, my friends made the huge difference and impact. However, the biggest change came due to one of my New Years Resolutions for 2015. It was to right down a miracle in my life everyday. It was through that experience that my attitude changed A LOT! I saw just how much the Lord was involved in the littlest details of my woeful, Logan life and was trying to make me happy. I realized how full and rich my life was. That we have been provided for a thousand times over. That my life just wasn't that bad, but it was just that good.
#LESSON2: ENJOY NOW
Dan and I made some of the greatest friends while being in our Married Student Ward. I think that has been one of the biggest blessings for me while Dan has been in school. You can't go to a student ward without being married to a student! And I can't imagine my life without my dear friends- you know who you are! Along with life-long friends, we've had opportunities to learn and grow in callings that we would NEVER have had in a family ward. Our callings have been HUGE blessings in our lives, in ways I never imagined.
I love our apartment. I love that within a 3 block radius we have the Logan Temple, Smiths, Instacare and our Doctor, a gas station, and the post office. I doubt will ever live this close to all of these things EVER again! I love that we live on the third floor of our apartment building. That everyday I am looking in the treetops and can see the temple. I love that I can clean our apartment in a half a day.
We live the perfect distance from our families. We are close enough to go see them a couple times a month, but far enough away that we have our own lives without interference. Logan is safe. I feel safe all the time here. That is something we may not always enjoy and I've really appreciated about living here.
All of these things will change. I've learned to enjoy the simple nature of our poor student living. Our responsibilities are minimal. We don't have a yard to take care of, we don't have kids. I already know I'll look back at our "Logan Life" and think how big of an idiot I was not to enjoy it more! I'm so thankful Dan and I have been able to spend so much time together. We have been able to lay such a good foundation in our first years together.
#LESSON3: HUMILITY
This was probably the most empowering lesson I've learned. That the Lord's plan for our family was not my plan. And that no matter how much I gripe and complain- my plan isn't going to change what's best for us. I've learned to be humble and flexible.
I've learned that there isn't a set timeline for every person. Ours is our own. The Lord is in charge. He knows what we need. He knows what will be best for us. Just let it be. Accept it. Be happy with it.
I'm so humbled that I married such a hard working guy. Dan has worked his booty off to get where he is, and I know it is going to pay off for our family. Hard work is a humbling thing to learn and I'm glad we're learning it early in our marriage.
#THENEXTSTEP
I'm so thankful that this chapter of Dan's schooling is over. However I think it may not be the end... and I'm pretty proud I haven't had a melt down over the idea of Dan doing more school.
So to all you wives who have been so patient and so diligent while getting your hubbys through school- we got this.
