#BABYCRAZY
Guys- there are babies EVERYWHERE! I watched my sweet friend Monica's baby for 4-5 hours this week, and it was so much fun. I just went to my friend Brittney's baby blessing for her SECOND little girl. My other dear friend Kylie is having a baby in November. There are 6 girls in my ward expecting, and at least that many babies that have been born in the past few months. They are so cute and I love them!My cute friend Jess showed me this YouTube video this week, made by a couple who just graduated from USU and had a baby- you should watch it! I quite loved it.
#DREAM
I had this dream last night that I was driving on a four lane freeway. Suddenly, there were so many cars being forced to the left two lanes and coming to a full stop. I kept driving in the right two lanes as fast as I could before anyone could stop me. Eventually I was forced to stop and join the miles and miles of cars stopped on the left side of the freeway. I was SO mad, frustrated, discouraged! I just wanted to get on my way and they had no reason to force me to the side of the freeway like this.A police officer was walking through all the cars and speaking to the drivers. When he came to my window, I asked him why I was stuck in this horrendous traffic jam and couldn't just keep driving. He told me I was pregnant and that those who had kids or were pregnant, had to stay to the left side of the freeway. The officer told me I would would never be in the fast lane again. I began sobbing. I felt doomed. My life was going to be a never ending drag, at a constant halt. I watched as other cars went zooming by, and cried harder. If I ever wanted to get anywhere, it would take me 100 times as long as anyone else. It was a horrible feeling! At that's where my dream ended and what I woke up to this morning...
#REALITY
Don't get me wrong, I love babies, I want to have kids. I know it's the most fulfilling thing I can do with my life. But part of me, clearly, has this mental attitude that having kids is going to end my life as I know it. And it really will in some ways end a lot of things I do. I can handle that. I am surrounded by WONDERFUL women who are mothers and make it look like the best time of their life! I know this way of thinking is so selfish! And I know I will get to the point where I can forget about myself and wanting to spend time only with my hubby.But not yet. Not now. I need a little more reassurance from Heavenly Father before I can jump into the world of motherhood!
Thank you to all those wonderful mothers in my life who show me the true side of motherhood, and not the traffic jam I have envisioned :)
Thanks for listening to my baby rant. Rant over.
