Babies, Babies, Babies!

#BABYCRAZY

Guys- there are babies EVERYWHERE! I watched my sweet friend Monica's baby for 4-5 hours this week, and it was so much fun. I just went to my friend Brittney's baby blessing for her SECOND little girl. My other dear friend Kylie is having a baby in November. There are 6 girls in my ward expecting, and at least that many babies that have been born in the past few months.  They are so cute and I love them!

My cute friend Jess showed me this YouTube video this week, made by a couple who just graduated from USU and had a baby- you should watch it! I quite loved it.

#DREAM

I had this dream last night that I was driving on a four lane freeway. Suddenly, there were so many cars being forced to the left two lanes and coming to a full stop. I kept driving in the right two lanes as fast as I could before anyone could stop me. Eventually I was forced to stop and join the miles and miles of cars stopped on the left side of the freeway. I was SO mad, frustrated, discouraged! I just wanted to get on my way and they had no reason to force me to the side of the freeway like this.

A police officer was walking through all the cars and speaking to the drivers. When he came to my window, I asked him why I was stuck in this horrendous traffic jam and couldn't just keep driving. He told me I was pregnant and that those who had kids or were pregnant, had to stay to the left side of the freeway.  The officer told me I would would never be in the fast lane again. I began sobbing. I felt doomed. My life was going to be a never ending drag, at a constant halt. I watched as other cars went zooming by, and cried harder. If I ever wanted to get anywhere, it would take me 100 times as long as anyone else. It was a horrible feeling! At that's where my dream ended and what I woke up to this morning...

#REALITY

Don't get me wrong, I love babies, I want to have kids. I know it's the most fulfilling thing I can do with my life. But part of me, clearly, has this mental attitude that having kids is going to end my life as I know it. And it really will in some ways end a lot of things I do.  I can handle that. I am surrounded by WONDERFUL women who are mothers and make it look like the best time of their life! I know this way of thinking is so selfish! And I know I will get to the point where I can forget about myself and wanting to spend time only with my hubby.

But not yet. Not now. I need a little more reassurance from Heavenly Father before I can jump into the world of motherhood!

Thank you to all those wonderful mothers in my life who show me the true side of motherhood, and not the traffic jam I have envisioned :)

Thanks for listening to my baby rant. Rant over.