CONSUMED BY COMPARISON

If there is one talent most every woman has, it's the ability to compare ourselves to EVERYTHING. We compare ourselves to how others spend their money, how they raise their kids, what their bodies look like, how they dress, how much money they make, how they choose to live their religion, and the list goes on, and on, and on (like the song from the weird show Lamb Chop... haven't seen it? YouTube it.)

Being a woman, and being around women often, I have been thinking about this topic for several months now. There are far too many women in my life (who I love dearly) that are CONSUMED by COMPARISON. Not only are we as women judging others while comparing, but we viciously judge ourselves 1,000,000,000,000 times more harshly than anyone has ever judged us. It's an awful cycle. And I think it's time we as women STOPPED.

I'm becoming more and more convinced that Instagram & Pinterest can be the worst things EVER for a woman's self esteem.

INSTABRAG: The immediate posting of self congratulatory photos on Instagram with the sole intention of inspiring jealousy among followers.

- Woman gets on Instagram
- Woman sees another woman's post on instagram
- Post on Instagram is bragging about a latest accomplishment (graduation, baby is walking, house is almost done being built, husband got new job, bought a new car, vacationing in some tropic island, etc. etc. etc)
- Woman viewing post feels a tinge of resentment, jealousy, failure at lack of having accomplishment
- Woman viewing post, judges woman posting picture for bragging all the time about her perfect life. Thoughts of how easy her life must be, how it's not fair they have a rich family, etc. enter woman's mind. Judging continues.
- Woman reflects again on her own faults, failures, and longing to have what others do. Woman feels her self-esteem physically deplete inside her chest.
- Woman scrolls to next Instagram pic...

Now I can't say that this happens EVERY time to EVERY woman who has ever viewed a form of social media. But it's happened to me. And it's probably happened to you.

And it happens to women in general WAY too often.

And the effects of comparison are cutting deeper, and deeper...

NEWSFLASH: NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE SAME LIFE, ON THE SAME TIMELINE!

I'm turning 26 next week. I don't have kids. I don't have a house. I haven't built a house. My husband makes minimum wage. AND IT'S OKAY!

It's okay that I live in an apartment.(I LOVE OUR APARTMENT!)
It's okay that I don't have 2-3 kids like other women my age. (I've got plenty of beautiful babies in my ward to hold)
It's okay that I don't have a wardrobe from Nordstroms! (because seriously, this is pretty much against everything I believe in when it comes to shopping)

It's also okay that others my age own a house.
It's okay that they have husbands who make more than minimum wage.
It's okay that they in fact have 2-3 kids.

It's okay that they have their own life, and that it doesn't match mine.

Maybe instead of comparing and discovering what I don't have and ruining my own self esteem, I can be inspired and learn. I can see people with these different timelines, and know that someday I may be in that situation. I can learn how they achieved their accomplishment. I can learn what they did wrong, and what they did right-- to refer back to for my own future experience. Maybe I can stop comparing, and start celebrating others in their success because I understand it's not a reflection on my life.

Maybe I can post more inspiring things. Maybe instead of insta-bragging, I can share something that will make people laugh, or make people feel like they can reach their goals too. Maybe before I post something I can ask myself "If someone else posted this, would it make me feel bad for not having this?" I think a lot of how a post is received, is all in the wording. Obviously I can't control how everyone feels, but I think I can be more uplifting and sensitive.

Heck, maybe I just need to delete my social media for 1 or 2 weeks. Heck, maybe a month! Or forever! Maybe I need some time to learn to love my own life and build up my confidence again.

Something else we as women HAVE GOT TO GET OVER is our bodies. We can eat the same things, and do the same exercise routines, and our bodies will NEVER look the same as each others. So why we compare our bodies to each other, makes no sense to me.

From a woman with the curves of the squarest box you've ever seen, we need to EMBRACE our beautiful bodies! STOP NITPICKING! We'll nag ourselves to death about things we can't change, and things that are probably what actually make us beautiful. So let's stop.

Stop complaining that our teeth aren't white enough to reflect the sun and send SOS signals
Stop complaining we'll never have a thigh gap the size of grand canyon
Stop complaining that our hair stick-straight hair won't hold curls (you don't even need to own a straightener for heavens sake! Be happy!)
Stop complaining that our butt is too big or too flat- everyone likes bubbles and pancakes!

What if I start embracing my body? What if stopped only seeing everything I didn't like every time I looked in the mirror? What if I stopped counting calories and measuring my limbs and waist with a measuring tape? What if I started exercising and eating healthy according to how I FEEL, and not because I want to look like someone else?

Take it from a girl who spent a good 10 years worrying what everyone was thinking of her all the time due to her divorced parents and living in an average house, people love you more when you love yourself.

So I am going to listen to more Katy Perry because she always makes me feel like a rock star, read the Book of Mormon more so I'm reminded of who I am in the "big picture", and I'm not going to feel bad that I'll never have the curves or dance moves of Beyonce.