It actually is significant for 9 months of Dan and I being married (next week!) Crazy how time flies eh? And so grateful we are not having a honeymoon baby :)
So something I love to do is ask people questions about their experiences in life and see if they have any advice to offer. I don't like wasting time (though some may say my Vampire Diaries obsession is a waste of time!) AND I don't like making mistakes! So if anyone can give me advice to divert mistakes they've made, or things they would do differently, I'm all ears! I like to be as prepared and ahead in the game of life as I can.
Which leads to this blog. One of my best friends is getting married in two days... in Hawaii... to a beautiful Hawaiian named Drake. And I can't be there. And I'm so bummed. Out of all the dear friends in my life, she would be the one to have some exotic getaway wedding. I should have seen this coming and had a wedding fund set aside for Kylie years ago... if only money grew on Sage Brush in Utah, I would be set. Doesn't it make you sick how gorgeous their children will be?
Anyways, I love talking to people in my life that are in my same shoes... newlywed, poor, school, adjusting to a new way of life... and soak up any advice I hear. So this blog is for my dear friend Kylie, and all the things I'd say to her, and anyone else getting married pretty soon. A list of 9 things (one for each month we've been married) I've experienced and found be effective!
#1- If it's not too late to ask for/register for gifts, these are three things I'd say are most overlooked wedding gifts, but seriously the most useful:
A Membership to Costco or Sam's Club: We have a membership to Sam's Club and it has been the greatest thing ever!!! We can buy bulk of canned items, big bags of frozen chicken, veggies, cheese, etc. for a way better deal than buying them in the normal size at Wal-Mart or Smiths. PLUS there is sample Saturday which is a great time! PLUS their gas is usually the best deal in town and saves you a LOT of money in the long run. PLUS, somehow when you get married, you are busier than ever. You don't want to spend your spare time going to the grocery store every week. We just buy in bulk and get all the food we need for 3-4 weeks in one trip. It's so great.
A Digital Photo Frame: So you just spent thousands of dollars on pictures. Pictures for your engagements, formals, wedding, reception... You've got lots of GREAT pictures that you are so excited to frame and put all over your apartment! And with great reason, it's your first pictures as a married couple, and they are beautiful. After about 2-3 months though, you're going to get sick of looking at yourselves in every room you walk in. Let's be honest, they could be on almost every wall. SOLUTION, get a digital frame and load that puppy up. That way you don't feel guilty for not displaying the pictures you just spent a pretty penny on, visitors to your house aren't overwhelmed with your face on every wall, but every picture can still be seen on the digital frame!
For All Eternity (Talk on CD) by John L. Lund: I honestly don't know what we would have done without these CD's! We got them as a gift from our friends Justin and Melissa and I wasn't sure what to make of them at first, but like I said before, am always up for advice! HOLY COW! They are amazing! Communication is seriously the hardest part of any relationship, and I don't care who you are, or how long you're been married, you need to hear this! They have changed the way I communicate with every person in my life. It is so worth your time I promise! Dan and I listened to them anytime we were driving together and it was so amazing to see how much our relationship (that we thought was already awesome!) changed for the better! Seriously, you won't regret it!
Some my favorite website for recipes is allrecipes.com and the-girl-who-ate-everything.blogspot.com check them out!
#4- This should really be number one on my list. We started important habits right away. Even on our honeymoon we read the Book of Mormon together every day. When I have been gone on work trips, I call him and before we say good night, we read together over the phone. Every morning before I leave for work, I wake up Dan and he rolls out of bed, (sometimes without opening his eyes!) and we pray before I leave for the day. We pray over every meal (and always do our very best to eat together). Dan is usually up till all hours of the night doing homework, but he is really good about coming in, praying with me, and reading a chapter in the BOM every night. I honestly think this has made a HUGE difference in our first 9 months and made it SO much better than what it could have been. It's made me a lot more patient, and keep a good perspective on our relationship. Don't forget to go to the temple too! Our goal is twice a month. And it's so worth it to go even when you have to sacrifice a lot or aren't in the mood to go. Just remember CPR! Church, Pray, Read! and Temple! and Family Home Evening every week!
#5- Don't be cheap when it comes to buying a mattress! Next to planning our wedding, Dan and I spent the most time on mattress shopping. Honestly though, if you think about it, you spend a LOT of time in your bed, hopefully 1/3 of your day if you get your full 8 hours of sleep! And nothing is worse than getting an awful nights rest! So we really wanted a good mattress. We looked everywhere and finally found a Stearns and Foster at Costco (see point #1!) It was a REALLY nice mattress with double pillow top thickness, we fell in love with it. Best decision we ever made. Even though it did cost some money, it was still a steal of a deal, it's something we use every day and it should last us quite awhile! (by the way, we bought a King and love the space!)
#6- Men aren't use to wearing rings! I don't know if Dan ever wore a ring prior to us getting married. And I didn't really think about it either. We looked at men's wedding bands and Dan had a few he liked. I actually found the perfect one online for a really decent price, and I'm so glad I didn't spend a whole lot of money! For probably the first 4 months we got married, I think Dan lost his ring on a weekly basis. Sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes for 10 days! But we've always found it which has been good! It wasn't that he didn't like it, or didn't want to wear it, but just simply wasn't use to having to keep track of a ring! Eventually he got the "married man indent" on his finger. He wears it all the time with no problem and it keeps the ladies away just fine :) But had he lost the ring for reals during those first few months and I had spent a good chunk of change, it coulda been ugly! So take this for what its worth, but I wouldn't recommend spending a lot of money for the guys first wedding band!
#7- Making friends is a whole new ballgame. Don't expect people to reach out to you and have tons of married friends! We have had to initiate pretty much any double date we've ever been on with the exception of 3-4 times. I thought that once we moved into our new ward, we'd have lots of married friends to do things with... turns out it's a lot like dating again! You go on this double date, you see if you get along with the wife of the other couple, your husband sees if he gets along with the other guy, you come home from the date, evaluate if you BOTH wanna hang out with them again, see if the other couple ever invites you to do anything, blah blah! Ha it's so funny! It really is double dating! But it's a lot of fun and we have met wonderful people!
#8- Talk about money and have budget. There is nothing more stressful than money strains! Well, to me at least. Dan and I talked about money before we were married, but talking and doing are two very different things! And I can guarantee that you will ALWAYS need your savings account! We have needed to dip into our savings these last nine months for things we didn't plan on (like car repairs, new tires, etc). Point being, live under your budget. Always have a savings account. Don't expect to go out to eat all the time and to movies. One of our favorite things is to bring our blow-up mattress into our living room, get a redbox or $5 movie from Wal-Mart, pop some popcorn... it's fabulous!
#9- What Elder Whitney L. Clayton said :) Watch it, ponder about it, live it! He gave this at the last general conference and it was so powerful. It's called, Marriage: Watch and Learn it's not very long, just sit back and enjoy!
So now that I am an experienced married woman after these last 9 months (sense my sarcasm), here is to the next few months until we hit our year mark! Have a happy marriage my dear friends! It's the only way to have one in my book.
No comments:
Post a Comment