So. Much. Change.

This last year has been one of those major life changing years. I have been rereading a lot of my blog posts, and going through pictures of my life over the last 5 years since being married and HOLY MOLY. I feel like I am such a different person now than I was even a year ago. I have such a different perspective on so many things. I've had to adult on so many new levels, I feel as if I've lost my youth and gained a lot of responsibilities.

There have been so many changes in the last year of my life, I hardly recognize it as MY life any more. I feel as if everything before Grady was born feels like a dream... and it's so weird. I can't quite figure out how to wrap my head around everything that's happened, is happening, and is going to happen. SO MUCH CHANGE. I really can't think about it, or I start to get somewhat freaked out that life is so different and there is so much uncertainty ahead.

I remember having these feelings when I was coming home from my mission. My days had been 100% scheduled out for the last 18 months, and suddenly I was coming home to my entire life ahead of me and no plans. Heavenly Father sure took care of that fast and threw Mr. Daniel Wouden into my life before I could hardly make plans. That was a huge blessing.

For about the last 5 years, I've had a set schedule, a routine if you will. I knew where I'd be every day from 8-5, Dan had classes and work till most nights between 8-10. I knew where EVERYTHING in Logan was. I knew how much my bills were every month. I knew my neighbors. I knew the clerks at the grocery stores. I had consistency.

My life has become completely inconsistent for the THIRD time this year. I don't know my neighbors. I don't know if I'll like my ward. I don't know if I'll like the renters living in our basement. I don't know if I'll ever make friends like I had in Logan. I don't know how to own or take care of a home/yard. I don't know how to be a mom alone all day again. I don't know how to be such an adult! And if there's one thing I hate, it's the unknown. I am like an old lady. I like being comfortable and having my habits and routines. Turns out, that's not life.

Life is chaotic, and messy. It's every changing and always moving. Especially now that we have a baby. And if there is one thing I know and that's been proven over and over, Heavenly Father takes care of me. Especially at these giant crossroads where I really struggle with change. And I know he'll do it again. I know it's going to be challenging, but I know just to even get to this challenge in life is a huge blessing.

It's 4 days before Christmas. We are still finishing our house. Our things are 3/4 of the way packed up in boxes. We have no Christmas tree, or stockings, or any sort of decoration. This is going to be a VERY different Christmas this year than every before. We have a baby, and having Grady makes me all sorts of emotional when I think about the Christmas story... riding on a donkey for days being giantly pregnant, giving birth in a stable, laying my baby in a manger of hay... I weep thinking about it all. I've never spent so little on presents for Dan. We agreed to have a VERY small christmas due to the large amount of expenses we've had in fixing up our home.

And I am hoping and praying that I feel some sort of magic... some deeper understanding about the true meaning of Christmas by eliminating the "worldy" aspects this year. I'm hoping that this whole new year will bring out the best in me. That the last 12 months have literally felt like riding the "Wild Mouse" at Lagoon, feeling like I'm going to fall off at every new turn or change life throws my way, and some how I'm still inside my cart and hanging on for the next part of the ride (which by the way I hope resembles sky ride that takes you across the park, is quiet and peaceful with a view).

I'm hoping for miracles. That all the things I don't know, will be made known in due time, and that they will all turn out for the absolute best. That I will have confirmations I'm in the right place, at the right time, and doing the right things.

Because when all is said and done, what I really want is PEACE. And I know that true and lasting peace only comes through my Savior. So here's to Peace and Christmas and Change.

Wouden Christmas Card 2017

As usual, we aren't doing Christmas cards this year. And as usual, I'll say, "maybe next year..." haha

So here's a little update for our family and friends + sending love your way for the holidays!

THE BIG CHANGES

The biggest things that have happened for our family the last 12 months:
- Grady was born in March, by far the best thing that's changed our lives!
- Dan finished classes for his Master's Degree in May and accepted a job in South Jordan at Merrick Bank
- I quit my job at USU and have been LOVING the mom life
- We MOVED out of Logan! We've been living with Dan's parents for the last six months in Taylorsville
- We are homeowners! We found a place to call home in Eagle Mountain and are planning to move in by the end of the year.

DAN THE MAN

If there is anyone who should get the MVP award this year, it's Dan. Good gracious that man has worked SO hard this year. Finishing his Master's degree with a new baby at home was no easy task, but he rocked it. Then Dan had the best thing ever happen-- he was able to stay home the FULL month of May with Grady Baby and just be the Dad. And some how during that time, managed to land a job with an amazing company who treats him and our family like GOLD. For the last 8 weeks, he's been going out to our house when he gets off work and staying till 10 o'clock every night fixing it up and doing all the renovations so we can move in. He hasn't complained about it once. He's been our rock and I am so thankful for ALL he's done this last 12 months.

MEG THE MOM

My greatest wish came true and I've been able to stay home with Grady since June. I chopped all my hair off and that was probably one of the best decisions I've made hair-wise in a long time! I've been getting Pinterest crazy trying to figure out how to turn our house into a home and it's been a lot of fun (except for my first meltdown about which gray paint to choose! haha thanks for your help Jess!) For years I never thought I'd enjoy being a mother and staying home-- I mean what is there to do all day right?! Turns out I really do LOVE it and I really do have full and busy days. It's a kind of work that is so fulfilling and takes the whole heart. It's pretty wonderful and definitely full of curve balls! Life has been very humbling for me this year, but brought me so much happiness + blessings I never saw coming.

GRADY THE BABY

Grady is our greatest joy! He spoils us to death with being such a happy and go-with-the-flow little chub. He's not a terrible sleeper, but he's not one to sleep 12 hours straight either. This boy has been in the 90+% for height and weight the majority of his life. He's a BIG boy! It's been a circus trying to keep up with the amount of clothes sizes he's gone through, he's growing so fast.  He's had the pukes 3-4 times so far, pink eye, and survived the teething of a single tooth! I can't go anywhere, and I mean anywhere, without being stopped by someone who tells me how chubby and beautiful he is. Most of the time, it's someone telling me how their babies were this chunky too #chunkybabymomsunite  Grady has been SO patient with us as we've been out at our house doing renovations for the last 2 months and he's stuck in his high chair or playing with makeshift distractions we give him. He LOVES tags, kitties + puppies, playing peek-a-boo, and taking his naps in our bed. We can't believe he's 9 months now! Time is FLYING!

WISHING YOU ALL THE VERY MERRIEST OF CHRISTMASES AND WE ARE SO THANKFUL FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT WE'VE RECEIVED ALL YEAR! 

Much love, The Woudens