First Ultrasound: 10 Weeks

Monday- August 15th @ 10:00-11:45am

I was so anxious for this day. Thankfully we had spent the last two weeks getting ready/went on a family trip to Portland to make the time pass a little more quickly. I knew the drill. I knew where to check in, I knew what room they would direct me to, I knew where the ultrasound would be done. I'd been here, done it all before in April when I miscarried.

Only this time Dan was with me, and I've been feeling TERRIBLE-- so perhaps with some emotional support and more symptoms I was allowed to be more optimistic. I didn't feel like a raisin in a bag of m&m's sitting in the waiting room with giant pregnant bellies, brand new babies, and happy couples this time. This time, I could be considered a new initiation among the OBGYN waiting room club.

When the nurse brought us back and asked us the first few questions, she automatically congratulated us on our pregnancy-- and I'm 98% sure that I didn't say a word back to her because I was so annoyed that she would do that when know one even knew if there was a healthy, live baby growing in me yet. She probably thought I was the least excited new mom ever. But I was not letting myself get my hopes up too high until I saw that heartbeat and tiny human on a black and white screen.

We got through our questions, sat around waiting for the ultrasound room to be free-- then it was finally our turn! The nurse brought us back to the ultrasound room and left us in there for about 60 seconds while she grabbed our doctor. I finally let myself get emotional. Either way I was going to cry no matter what the ultrasound revealed. There was so much anticipation built up in me I wanted to burst.

The doctor came in, I got up on that table and took a deep breath as I was about to find out what was going on inside me. I think it only took 1 second before I saw what I'd seen on any ultrasound picture I've ever seen. This doctor was good, he landed right on the baby. And there the little thing was... It was real. I had a wiggly little being with arms and legs popping up on the screen. I didn't cry like I thought I would, I think I was actually in shock. We heard the fast little heartbeat, saw it moving, and it was so surreal. I felt like I was witnessing a miracle. Which is exactly what it was. Because anyone who's tried to have a kids and has to work hard at it-- knows it is the definition of a miracle to create life. I was in such awe.

Afterwards, Dan and I went to lunch for Chinese food. We talked, but both of us were in such deep thought as to what we had just seen and what it meant. Excitement, of course! Fear, of course. Gratitude, absolutely.

We (mostly me) decided that we'd wait until our 2nd ultrasound in 5 weeks to make sure again that everything was still okay-- and then we'd tell people. Sure hope these next 5 weeks go fast and that I don't show too much in that time!